My New Jersey

New Jersey Turnpike postcard
Originally uploaded by Smaddy

Lately, I've been a bit testy about life in Jersey.

Well, to be honest, I've been down right nasty about the way the world works here. For those of you who do not live in New Jersey, do yourselves a favor and unless you have a ridiculous amount of money to spend, don't move here.

Unless you can afford to live in a lovely area that you rarely need to leave, well, then this picture reveals what your life will, inevitably, boil down to: the NJTP.

Yeah, I've blogged about Turnpike misery before but it hit an all time low Tuesday morning on my way to work when I blew a tire (because there were too many potholes to avoid) and had to sit in my disabled car in the middle of four fast moving lanes of traffic.

Now, when I say fast moving, I'm talking tractor trailer trucks, buses, minivans, pickup trucks, luxury sedans, souped-up Hondas, etc. traveling at NO LESS than 85 miles per hour.

(You think I'm kidding about that speed? Ha! Obviously, you don't live in New Jersey. In Jersey, if you don't drive at least 85 on a major road, you're going to be rear ended and killed. The End.)

Yep, from the time I placed my first call to AAA, I sat there for THREE hours waiting for help because the idiots at AAA (to whom I pay 80 freakin' dollars a year) couldn't decide which tow company was "responsible" for me. It seems that Jersey City thought I was Kearny's problem and well, Kearny wanted to pass me off on Newark who, in the end, differed to Elizabeth.

Now, consider this logic: I'm traveling SOUTH. Elizabeth is SOUTH of where I am stranded. Why, in God's good name, would any jackass EVER think it a good idea to send a tow truck NORTH during RUSH HOUR to do a U-turn and then come south? IT MAKES NO SENSE. Clearly, AAA Operations is where truly muddle-headed people go to die (except for the lovely woman who, after 4 people disconnected me, made my call a priority and sweetly and genuinely attempted to help me - she is a saint).

I hate New Jersey. I do - I just can't hide it any longer. Yes, it has its benefits - and I'm not talking about its proximity to NYC - screw NY, I'm a London girl, a Glasgow girl, a Philly girl, a BOISE girl but not a NY girl. I tried, I failed. There is more to this world than the dirty hype of NY, a place where filth, poverty, corruption, superficiality, and false dreams FAR outweigh its light dusting of glitter. End of discussion. (Sorry for that rant - I'm a bit testy as I mentioned earlier and my opinion could change in a heartbeat. If it's any consolation, I am happy that two of my friends are considering moving to NY... please forgive my lashing.)

Let me begin again.

I hate New Jersey. Here, first reactions are aggressive and frightening, not at all welcoming, because in this state, people have cultivated brashness as a defense mechanism. Of course, most warm up quickly but man, it is intimidating when a receptionist at the DMV barks at you! Also, the roads SUCK. They are too congested, too old, too pocked with holes, and it SUCKS not being able to EVER TURN LEFT - particularly when you are left handed and therefore left side dominate!

I can't even get started on the expense of living in this state because, well, considering we spent $400k on 700 sq. ft. of space, I am obviously feeding into its "the more you spend, the cooler you are" mentality of this state. I try to justify it knowing it would've been impossible for us to buy anything larger for that amount of money, anywhere in this state that we would even consider living.

Hmm. I'm tired of whining about NJ so I'm going to shut up now.

So, What's La Pointe of It All? It's this: I knew when I started dating Matty that I would end up in this pit and I chose to proceed and then married him; therefore, I need to shut up and think positively. I mean, who knows, maybe I'll get lucky one day and end up in line at the DMV next to Zach Braff or Tara Reid.