ADD in Idaho

addyHeart
Originally uploaded by mpisaarmy

NaNoWriMo is kicking my ass. Instead of surging forward with 1st manuscript I started (7000 words), I began another one the other day (9700 words) and now can't decide which to go forward with and may just go back to my yearlong project (57,450 words), which would mean no more NaNoWriMo.

At the moment, I don't know if I should continue with my death project, the chick-lit project, or the YA fantasy project but I do know that I am experiencing massive amounts of self inflicted guilt because I'm not pushing forward with any of them and am instead doing a lot of blogging and eating.

The day before we left for Idaho, I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off calling in my script, picking up the hard copy, walking up to Washington St. to the pharmacy, etc. only to be denied.

Why? Because the script was dated for November 8th and it was only the 4th. I tried to explain that I was going to be in Idaho on the 8th and that I only had two pills left but of course, the worker didn't give a shit and I was left sans pills.

Then he told me to "have a good evening" to which I replied, "I absolutely won't have a good evening now, Sir, nor will I have a clear moment in the next 5 days, thank you very much".

And my NaNoWriMo conundrum above is proof of that: I'm about to lose my mind. I haven't felt this confused/unmotivated/detached or derailed in a long time and it's killing me. Although this trip has been fab, my mind has been a complete wreck and I hate it.

I understand it's a controlled substance and all but seriously - where's the humanity! I have one pill left that I've been saving for the plane ride home because I fear my brain could possibly implode during a six hour journey if I try to think and write.

So, what's La Pointe of It All? It's this: for those of you who think clearly, embrace your ability. For those of us whose thought process resembles a bowl of spaghetti, a word to the medicated wise: make sure you don't run out of meds before you embark on a 5 day journey far from home.