Lunch Club

The Cheeks before heading out to lunch,

 dressed in her velour NJ Housewife track suit 

that Aunt Alina bought her. It has bell sleeves 

and is utterly adorable, just like her expression.

Wednesday lunches with my new friends (who just so happen to have babies) have become my weeks' highlight.  It not only forces me to get out of the house with The Cheeks, but I've also tried three new restaurants, six new wines, and a grapefruitini (which, I'm sad to report, did not meet my expectations).

Best of all, of course, are the friendships I'm forming with like minded souls... ones who also enjoy a drink at lunch! hee hee...

Seriously though, when I was pregnant, I snubbed my nose at "mommy groups": the idea of getting together with a bunch of strangers to talk about our "feelings" made me want to vomit pacifiers. More than once during my pregnancy, I climbed up on my soapbox and delivered the following rant:

"I mean, like, come on - I have, like, so many friends as it is and, like, most of them are moms.  If I need a "mommy friend", hell, I'll call one of them.  Seriously, (insert Matt or Laura's name here), you're not going to find me at one of those, like, "Mommy and Me" bullshit support groups. No way.  I'll be, like, way too busy bustling the baby into the MOMA on my own, or, like, driving to Philly to see Jen and Mose, or flying off to London to spend the weekend with the girls - you know, I'll be too busy spending time with my REAL friends!"

I know, I can be awful, right?  Well, I really thought that was how it would be... ha! We all know how that turned out, considering I spent weeks one and two crying on the phone to Erica and the Jens, texting morose paragraphs to everyone I knew, and blogging the real deal.  Thank god for my friend Michelle up in The Heights (who is, by far, one of the most positive, inspirational people I have in my life and a freakin' terrific friend).  She sent me cheery, supportive texts encouraging me to check out the Hoboken Hospital support group.  Texts that were written in just the right tone, one that intrigued instead of putting me off.

Don't get me wrong - as I wrote here, that meeting was not my cup of tea and I haven't gone back but that's because I met these girls that first day.  It served its purpose and served it well; if I hadn't met these gals, I absolutely would have gone back with the sole purpose of stalking the room for others.  

Today, two of the girls each invited a friend to join our Wednesday lunch club.  Each of those girls has a little girl, so now the count is even: three girls, three boys.  It also means that The Cheeks now has adorable competition because they are beautiful baby girls, were dressed to the nines, and have fabulous names: Addison and Beatrice... this means I need to step up Eliza's game since I'm used to her being the prettiest, best dressed, and best named girly).

I mean, does it get cuter than this?  Maybe baby

Evelyn, but come on! She's 7 weeks and practically

holding the teddy that her daddy got her for Valentines!

Ever read The Alchemist? It's a simple fable that delivers a strong message I believe and have passed on to others (the most interesting being a cute gypsy boy from the South of England who played the tambourine).  Coelho writes that if you want something, all the universe will conspire to make it happen, that it's a small world, and blah blah blah.

But it's true: after I had my baby, all I wanted was to feel like me again.  I spoke of wanting her not to cry, of wanting my swelling to go down, of wanting time to spend with my husband, of wanting to be closer to my family but what I really wanted was to recognize myself once more.

It's been a long road, traveled over a little under two months, but I've managed to make my way back toward myself.  Not completely, but I'm almost there and this group of girls has been instrumental along the way.

And here's the Coelho kicker:  one of the new girls is from Lewisburg, which is my college town (that is 8 miles from my hometown).  That's in itself is crazy, but what really blew my mind is that her stepmother is from W-town AND is the mother of one of my high school friends*!  How's that for it's a small world?  Just when I was feeling so far from home, home presented itself in the form of a brown eyed girl with a girl of her own! Woo hoo! Another townie in town!

Some people collect pottery, some wine corks.  I suppose I collect friendships.

I got lucky - what makes this group of "mommy friends" work is that they feel like friends, not like "mommies". These girls are my type of girls; each is unique in her own way and whereas we share many qualities, we are worlds apart in other aspects.  As a group, however, we complement one another and the dynamic works. 

But most importantly, when I'm with them, surrounded by a sea of strollers, burp cloths, diaper bags, and breast feeding cover-ups, I don't feel like a mom: I just feel like me.

*For my hometown readers, I'll give you a few hints: this girl graduated in 1990, played field hockey, and was the only one in school who called her boyfriend Mike, "Miicchhaaeell".  She also has an older brother that most of us girls had a crush on at one time or another.