The Cheeks Predicts...

Yesterday, The Cheeks practiced looking for her

shadow in rehearsal for today's big event; you see,

I've decided that in order to get the most out of 

motherhood, one must get the most out of one's child

and after seeing her perfect plank position yesterday,

I've decided that The Cheeks must become a soothsayer.

And with her natural ability to crane her neck and look 

around, what better way to start her career than to

put her skills to test predicting whether or not spring is

on its way or if we're going to be stuck in the house until May.

 The Cheeks practicing her plank position:

she's either really interested in the world around

her or she's going to end up a fitness guru like my gal Amanda C.

People want to know the future, and considering

the onslaught of paranormal programming on television,

unlike teaching, I think this is one vocation that has room 

in its market for more talented professionals. Plus, The Cheeks
is fortunate to have educated, reliable mentors like one 

of my favorite former students, Laura (who knows 

all things paranormal) and of course the guidance 

of Chip Coffey's Twitterstream (too bad that, according

 to what I watched on the Beverly Hills Housewives, 

Alison Dubois is quite the class A bitch because

 I really, really liked Patricia Arquette's portrayal of her).

So, how did this morning go?  Did The Cheeks see her shadow?

Is it the beginning or have we finally come to the end?
 Well, let's just say The Cheeks made it quite clear that unlike
dogs and Paris Hilton, The Cheeks doesn't perform on command:

The Cheeks, sleeping through her first 
official attempt at predicting the future.

The Cheeks, passed out during what was to be 

her second attempt at predicting the future.

Pinks, trying to help out by showing The Cheeks

how to wake from hibernation and exit a burrow.

Just when I thought all hope was lost, and that perhaps
soothsaying isn't a talent one can choose for one's babe,
The Cheeks turned, gazed deeply into my eyes, and
at that moment, a little voice rang clear as a bell in my head:

"Puh-lease, Momma - I'm not a show pony: I 

don't pose or deliver on demand.  Leave me be! My 
powers will come forth when I am good and ready!"

Look at those clear eyes! 

This is a little girl who is sure about the world

and isn't afraid to let others know that she is in charge.

And with that, I put her back down on her Boppy

for a nap (which is, I learned on Monday, a clear

violation of its intended use) and guess what? 

A few moments later while I was catching up on

episode of one of my favorite reality shows, I caught

her in the act, waving her arms wildly in the air, 

conjuring up a spell or charm that will, no doubt, fill her

parents' hearts with happiness and pockets with cash!

The Cheeks is available for readings according to her 

schedule and in between feedings and nap times,

at the affordable rate of $125 an hour, which is less than

the cost of some SAT tutors!  I mean, why study for the SAT

if you're going to end up guiding deep ocean fishing trips,

or starring on The Jersey Shore, Season XXIV?