A friend from high school who is a mother of multiples, a college professor and a writer, too, commented that she was looking forward to my upcoming blogs and was interested in seeing how motherhood affects my writing in terms of whether or not I'll have the time or the energy.
She's the definition of a go-getter and it's apparent that she works very, very hard to balance her home and work life. I admire her ability to juggle motherhood while teaching in a tenure track position at a prestigious university (one that that requires her to research, write and publish regularly!). Plus, from what I've read on her Facebook page, she even manages time for a social life and enjoys time with friends and family!
For the past twenty years, my time has pretty much been my own but that's all going to change in December and honestly, I'm looking forward to that change (it is, after all, why I'm enduring all of these miserable changes to my body that pregnancy has forced on me - although I look forward to motherhood, I HATE being pregnant). But just because I'm looking forward to it doesn't mean that I'm not scared out of my mind, too. Aren't all first time mothers-to-be?
Fortunately, my husband kicks ass - he's awesome and that's not an exaggeration. He's one of the few people in my life who anticipates my moods and runs interference before I even have a chance to recognize them. He'll be scooping that crying baby out of my arms and urging me to go sit at the keyboard and "relax" (Matty is big on "relaxing"; I, on the other hand, am not familiar with that term...).
So, with the help and advice of good friends and family, I think I'll make it through and hopefully, I'll manage to get time on my side, too!
First off, being a go-getter is such an attractive trait. This never seemed as important to me before having a kid. Developing this trait (for me, it took work) is what keeps me sane now. I think you kind of have to be going a lot if it is your priority to have more than one time and energy intensive focus. Family will be first, of course, but unless that is all you "need" or want, you will be a-movin'.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong though, stay at home parents who's energy goes into the family only is fine too. Everyone is different. Everyone needs something different.
Of course, come December, you will have some major adjustments! It is seriously awesome though. Here are some tips:
1) Continue to take showers DAILY. This may sound like a no-brainer, but it will take work. If you forget this rule, you will look gross, smell disgusting, become depressed and have to claw your way back from the brink of destruction.
2) Don't search The Internets for ailments effecting babies. Shut off the computer and snuggle with her instead.
3) Make your husband get up with her if he doesn't volunteer. If you skip this step, you will HATE him. For a little bit at least. Most men don't hear babies. Their brains just aren't on the same wavelength as mommas.
4) Continue to be active. Get outside. Walk. Run. Hike. Bike. You may be tired and the thought of doing this makes your stomach churn like it did after your senior high homecoming party, but DO IT. For yourself, your husband, and your baby. For your sanity.
Wow, all of that sounded horrible. Babies aren't horrible, I swear. Sleep deprivation and light-speed hormonal changes can be horrible though so listen to this advice. Mentally prepare and don't neglect yourself.
Congratulations Ali! We're due in the same month!
ReplyDeleteI think your previous commenter has some good advice, especially the shower part. You just don't feel human without a shower once a day. Even though sometimes its a moot point to be clean for 20 minutes before the baby deposits something else on you, it does wonders for the psyche to have clean hair!
Good Luck!