A few weeks ago, my online BFF, Amanda, wrote a post about blogging like no one is reading. Although Amanda and I have never met in person (yes, I know - that sounds weird and squirrely but it's totally normal for people in online communities to meet online and become friends: do you think connecting online is solely reserved for the folks looking for love on eHarmony?), we have established a nice little textual friendship and I adore her - she's the younger and way cuter, way cooler blonde version of myself. You know, the one my mother has been bemoaning all the years of my life with her "somewhere out there, there is a little blond haired child who belongs to me" statement?
Anyway, I totally agree with Amanda's philosophy on blogging and I try to do the same myself; I know that not everything I write in this blog is going to please everyone and I recognize that some of my posts are a tiny, tiny bit edgy and express opinions some people think but are afraid to say. Notice I used the adjective tiny twice; as a blogger, I am more reserved that many of my blogging role models. I'm not proud of this and actually, I'm jealous of their forthrightness. Whereas I strive for transparency and honest expression, I'm aware of my audience and therefore I don't always "say what [I] need to say" but I'm working up to it.
Which brings me to today's dilemma: at my rain soaked wedding reception Saturday afternoon, my dear friend Peggy (whom I consider my friend even though technically, she's one of my mom's best friends) mentioned my blog to my MIL. Peggy is one of my regular readers and the two of us share a bond that is nothing short of kismet. My MIL is a lovely, lovely woman and I admire her; she is strong, independent, smart, and computer/Internet savvy, in addition to being a fantastic mother and mother in law.
But I don't want to give her my blog's URL.
Is that shitty of me? I can't quite explain why I don't want to give it to her; it's hard to put the reason into words so let me just say that I think some relationships work best when a bit is left to the imagination.
I am an odd bird. That's not a surprise to anyone, I'm sure, but what may come as a surprise is the difference between what outsiders label "quirks" and what I know are my "oddities". The majority of my family, friends and associates would never dream that I am reclusive by nature, almost reticent. I adore being alone and have found ways to be just that, even when surrounded by others. Matty and I enjoy our insular moments just as much as, and perhaps more than, our social ones.
I am self revealing when it comes to 70% of my life but that remaining 30% is highly guarded and is what, to me, is truly valuable. Despite my myriad of friendships, there are only 6 other residents of All Ali, All the Time Town (or Alitown as it's more commonly known) and for 5 of them, it's not their primary residence, unlike poor Matty who was practically dragged across the border and now has to live here with me full time.
Another small, small number (probably 10 people) live in the border regions of Alitown and visit when need arises, which is often, followed by a much larger group who live on the outskirts of town and get the benefits of visiting every now and again and who are usually quite happy to leave and return to the safety of the suburbs.
My MIL doesn't live in Alitown, on its border, or even in its suburbs; she lives in her own beautiful town in another part of the region and therefore our visits require advance notice and planning, which afford both of us the luxury of tidying up and taking out the garbage before the other arrives at the front door.
Because Alitown is a city and parking is a bitch, instead of adding stress to her life, we make the journey to visit her at her peaceful spot on the lake where we can all enjoy the quiet and the view.
So, what's La Pointe Of It All? It's this: I would rather visit her than have her come here. We enjoy the trip to the lake and she enjoys the visits; there's no need for her to come to Alitown and for now, I think that is best.
My MIL doesn't live in Alitown, on its border, or even in its suburbs; she lives in her own beautiful town in another part of the region and therefore our visits require advance notice and planning, which afford both of us the luxury of tidying up and taking out the garbage before the other arrives at the front door.
Because Alitown is a city and parking is a bitch, instead of adding stress to her life, we make the journey to visit her at her peaceful spot on the lake where we can all enjoy the quiet and the view.
So, what's La Pointe Of It All? It's this: I would rather visit her than have her come here. We enjoy the trip to the lake and she enjoys the visits; there's no need for her to come to Alitown and for now, I think that is best.
Fantastic post. I feel the same way about blogging, in fact I found yours when I googled mine, which is called - Blog like no one is reading. I love your analogy of Alitown, it's perfect.
ReplyDelete