Know Thy Self

This morning on my walk for fitness, I noticed three types of women walking the streets of Hoboken: the Solo Athlete (I'm using the term athlete VERY loosely since I am including myself in this category), the Working Woman, and the Out and About Mom.

The SAs I spotted this morning ranged from thin to fat and were walking, running, rollerblading, and biking. What is interesting about the SA is that she could also fit into the WW or the OaAM category, too; she could be getting in her morning fitness before heading into the city or while her husband is watching the babe before he leaves for work. Or she could fit into neither of the two categories; she could be a teacher off for the summer, unemployed, a trust fund baby, or retired.

What I noticed about the SAs collectively, is that they (we) all looked focused and a bit miserable but it was obvious that the misery stemmed from exertion and therefore was ephemeral and thus excusable.

The misery on the faces of the WW was a different sort of misery - one that stems from walking to either work or to the train garbed in office wear (some of which, I must add, was exquisite and covetable). The problem with working in an office during the summer is that it's 94 degrees and miserably humid outdoors - hence the sleeveless blouses and modified sundresses - but 63 degrees and absolutely freezing indoors - hence the sweaters thrown over aforementioned blouses and dresses.

That's just one of the reasons, I'm sure, that the WW look miserable. There are much more pressing reasons that I can easily infer to explain those looks, such as, well, working, period. Add office politics, dropping a child off at daycare, not getting enough sleep the night before because said child is colicky (sp?), working in a field that inspires no passion, etc.

The OaAMs (I refuse to call them Stay at Home Moms anymore because the majority of moms who choose to be with their children instead of working never seem to be at home - they are always out and about running errands, shuffling the kids from here to there, taking the child to the park, etc) had a different look on their faces altogether. Yes, there were a few with looks of pain spread across their visage however those looks seemed the result of a temporary set back, such as a diaper issue, etc.

Instead, most of the OaAMs had a bit of a twinkle in their eyes that seemed to say, "I can't believe this is my life - I can't believe I'm walking to Washington Street to grab a coffee and then am meeting up with some friends at the park while all of these unfortunate ladies herd themselves onto a PATH train and are shuttled like cattle through an underground network to the pen where they will be contained for the day".

Of course many of the WW would argue with the OaAMs and many of the OaAMs would argue with me that she wouldn't or would change her situation if she could, which makes me sad because obviously those women don't truly know themselves well enough to have chosen their paths correctly.

I, on the other hand, know myself so damn well that you will never hear me complain once I have a baby and make a choice between being a WW or an OaAM because I'll be blissfully happy and sure of that choice because I know myself so damn well.

Of course I'll do A LOT of bitching on a day to day basis about bits and pieces of my day that are a result of that choice, but bitching is just apart of my personality, as you all know. Mark my word, however: once I choose, you will NEVER hear me complain on a regular or even an irregular basis about which job I've chosen and I invite you to call me out on it if I do.

I can't wait to be an OaAM someday soon - I mean yeah, I wish I didn't need to actually give birth in order to become one of them but unfortunately, Matt won't budge on that point.

Oh, and just a little disclaimer - everything stated above about the OaAMs, well, that only applies to those with only ONE child, possibly two and NEVER to those with THREE or more, which is, like my dear friend Erik always says, a no - no: NEVER LET THEM OUTNUMBER YOU!

I will be having just the one, thank you, unless - dear lord - Matty comes from a family with multiples in the genes and if that is the case, make sure to check out the Etsy shop I'll be opening to view the advertised custom listing for one (or more) half Greek, half WASP baby(ies) for sale.

Wedding Dressaster

When I first got engaged, I immediately flew to Scotland to plan the wedding. On the plane, I watched the Katherine Heigl movie 27 Dresses and fell in love with the dress her character's sister wore, pictured here.

Looking at this pic, I am reminded of why. It's a freaking fantastic dress and I think I would look great in it - the pockets are just so Ali. I researched the dress and figured out the designer and model and scoured the internet for it, only to discover that it was very pricey - $4700.00.

Obviously, I didn't even attempt to go try the dress on and instead decided to be practical and frugal, so I purchased dress #1, the grey Max Azria dress.

As you know, I then decided - albeit late in the game - that I wanted a new dress, so my amazing friend Kari and I spent an entire Friday canvassing Jersey for a new dress and after giving up hope, found one.

Dress #2 is a lovely dress but of course it wasn't perfect so I re-designed the dress and took it and my ideas to my seamstress who took on the challenge.

When I went for my fitting earlier this week, I discovered that dress #2 is now unwearable do to a number of reasons. My seamstress graciously offered to loan me a $3000 designer version of the dress as a replacement. Her offer seemed so generous and so I tried on the designer dress and it was almost a perfect fit. She said she would take it in a bit and then when I brought it back, she would let it back out and sell it.

Sounded like a good idea at the time - a time when I was overwhelmed in so many ways that I could barely manage more than a few nods.

When I got dress #2 home and tried it back on, I discovered that it had been altered to a ridiculously small size and in no way fit. To make matters even more irreversible, there is not enough room to give enough leeway to let it back out.

So now I'm on my way to my fitting for dress #3 and I must admit that whereas I was kind of excited at the idea of wearing a designer dress, the reality is that it is not my dress and I'm nervous to wear it.

I can't believe I have spent over $1200 and still do not have a wedding dress and I leave the country in 13 days.

I used to make fun of girls who made such a big deal out of finding "the dress" and who were opposed to trying alternative options and insisted on marching straight to Kleinfelds but now I totally get it and realize just how important the f-ing dress is to a girl and want to kick myself for not realizing it sooner.

Wish me luck.

It's Soooo ETSY: A Shout Out to Support Artists Working From Home

When is the last time you sent out a party invitation? Not an Evite, but an actual hard copy, in the post, invitation? Your wedding? A child's birthday?

Well, if you haven't recently been on the invite scene, let me tell you this - it's changed BIG TIME. Gone are the days of sitting in a bridal shoppe or at Hallmark pouring over fat, pleather bound binders; those days and ways have been replaced by my friend and yours, the internet.

It's really true - a girl can plan an entire wedding on her WiFi laptop from the comfort of her couch. I can't begin to discuss all of the remarkable changes in the wedding industry that are the direct result of the internet; perhaps I will devote a post to that once the wedding is over and I've had a chance to put my wedding planning experience into perspective, but that's not the point of today's blog.

Today I want to give a HUGE shout to one of my favorite online marketplaces, ETSY and in particular, to one of its vendors, LaurenLoweDesigns.

As some of you may know, this past week was marked by a few late in the game changes to our wedding celebrations and I've had to think fast and re-organize. Fortunately, they came on the tail end of my FML attitude and were quickly diverted and embraced by my new Zenish one. Because I am leaving the country two weeks from today (yikes!), I went to work immediately taking care of business and one of the first details was to find new invitations and someone to print them.

I considered my options and it went something like this:

• Although I ADORE our custom design invitation to our Scottish ceremony, there was no way I was heading back up to Washington Street and emptying what is left of my dwindling bank account on 3 times as many invitations (note to all non teachers: in New Jersey, there is no such thing as getting paid in the summer. The paychecks end on the last day of school and in my case, do not commence until September 15th. This is week 8 without a paycheck - not ideal when you're wedding is three weeks away).
• EVITE is EVIL. I will NEVER send another Evite, so help me god. The Evite, in my opinion, engenders procrastination and removes responsibility by devaluing the event and, sadly, by doing so, devaluing the event planner/honoree. I've learned my lesson the Ehard way.
• I checked out the big online retailers that have jumped out to me from the pages of the 23948239847 bridal magazines I've purchased over the past four months, ones such as Weddingpaperdivas, and was frankly, overwhelmed by the options and complexity of the ordering process.
• I hit up Etsy. If you're behind the Etsy curve, it's an online marketplace for mom and pop type stores and home based artisans, craftspeople, retailers, etc. and focuses primarily on handmade and vintage goods of all kinds: jewelry (check out WiredbyWhitney), clothing, decorative items, stationary, antiques, etc.

I spent about 15 minutes browsing the hundreds of vendor before making the solid decision to use an Etsy vendor. I searched by theme and color combinations and narrowed by choice down to 3 vendors. I emailed a brief request to each and explained my situation, asked if she required a minimum order and inquired as to how quickly she could have the invites on my doorstep.

Within minutes, Lauren from LaurenLoweDesigns emailed me back and said not only could she do my number of invites in a timely fashion, but she could even start on them immediately that evening! We emailed back and forth a few times (sorry Isabella and Pete for my iPhone emailing rudeness the other night while we were out and thanks for being so understanding!) and before I went to bed that evening, I had the invitation proof in my inbox!

Lauren was amazing - she was eager, efficient, and effective and I am impressed by her professionalism, workmanship and artistic flexibility.

More so, however, I am shocked by her turn around time - I sent her my initial email Tuesday evening at 8 pm and this afternoon, I received an email that she Fed Ex'd my order this morning! I'm so excited that I'm about to email her and ask if she'll do a custom design for me for another event I'm planning!

I truly believe that the internet is going to save small business persons, artists, writers, and craftsman; it's a bridge that affords artists a way to traffic their work out into the world so it can reach people like me and dammit, that makes me feel really good. I was happy to send money to an artist for the employment of her specific skill set and doubly happy knowing she was earning money doing what she loves to do from the comfort of her home.

So, the next time you need a gift for someone, new business cards, a set of thank you notes, decorations for your child's birthday party, a special dress for a party, a veil for your wedding, a storage option to organize your desk, or a pair of pretty earrings, check outwww.etsy.com and support an artist!

Fear of Babies: I Want the Stork Myth!

One of the reasons I'm afraid to have a baby is that I worry it will come out looking like this picture. I don't want a creepy baby with taut, translucent skin, bulging eyes, giant ears, and other characteristics akin to a geriatric.

I don't understand why our society didn't continue to run with the whole stork idea. It makes perfect sense to me: one morning, you awake to find a bonnie, chubby little cherub sleeping peacefully in its Moses basket at your front door step. It gingerly opens its round, bright eyes (or almond shaped eyes if you're Asian) and greets you with a sweet cooing sound.

You reach down and take it into your arms while looking up and down the street in a perplexed yet disinterested way and upon realizing no one is coming back for the child, you are suddenly overwhelmed with parental joy and instincts and walk happily back inside.

Instant family - voila!

Now, isn't that the way it should be? Wouldn't the stork approach solve a lot of societies' issues? I mean, after all, when you open the door and see the child, if you realize you don't want a baby or aren't ready for one at that moment, you can just go back inside and shut the door.

It's true!

The stork will totally take if from there. Once the door is shut, making it clear to the stork that the homeowner is not interested in motherhood at that time, the stork will leap out of its hiding spot, scoop up the baby, shove it down into its pouch, and take it to the next person on the list.

To me, the above sounds great. Ideal, in fact, because not only would I not have to walk around for almost a year with something foreign growing inside me, I would not have to get that watermelon out of me at some point. Plus, if my baby came via stork, I would probably love it more because I would be in a better place,mentally and physically, to do so. No raging hormones! No body image crisis! No leaking, bleeding nipples!

But the best part of the stork scenario is that in the stork myth, the baby that you get is YOUR BABY. It's not someone else's baby because adoption/surrogacy/IVF is not part of the stork narrative so the stork baby is 100% yours, no questions asked.

If the stork myth was a true tale, then I would set up delivery tomorrow.

Well, maybe not tomorrow. I suppose I would wait until after August 29th, just to keep the 'rents from going mental.

College Search

Because many of you reading this blog are in the process of applying to colleges, I'm posting the following websites I heard about this morning while listening to a podcast of Abby's Road.

Abby's Road is a newly launched podcast by rising high school senior, Abby Laporte - her dad is a broadcaster who has his own radio show about tech subjects; Abby's show was launched earlier in July and is in its fifth episode. The show focuses on teen related subjects such as college, peer pressure, etc. You can check it out by downloading it off of iTunes (it's under podcasts) or you can listen to it here:

http://twit.tv/abby

The one I listened to today dealt with the college application process and mentioned these websites that you may want to check out, if you haven't done so already:

www.zinch.com - this is a social network designed to match students and colleges, in addition to matching students and scholarships. Students and colleges create profiles in hopes of easing the recruitment process on both sides.

www.unigo.com - this is an AWESOME website that provides reviews of colleges and universities by the students who attend those schools! Not only does it post written reviews, you can also browse through pictures, videos, link to school related blogs, get statistics, in addition to connecting with other rising seniors from across the country interested in the same school(s).

For someone like me who back in 1990 relied solely on word of mouth and collegiate mailings, it's difficult to fathom the myriad of ways students of today can conduct a college search.

I'm insanely jealous. Enjoy!

This is NOT a Pic of My "To Do" List

But man, I wish that list was mine. Instead, my "To Do" list for Monday, August 3rd (oh god, it's August. Crap.. August is the Sunday of the summer), reads as follows:

- walk for fitness
- work on EJ article
- choose wedding flowers
- cross fingers that Park Avenue Grill and Doug Mackenzie return my emails
- return other wedding related emails
- go pick up wedding shoes at Strachan's and, if lucky, "kick it" for about an hour or so
- go grocery shopping (ugh. I HATE grocery shopping)
- go to wedding dress fitting and hope she gets it right
- write a more interesting blog post

I leave the county in 17 days. I think I'm getting hives.

Kids and School

When, at breakfast this morning, my soon to be MIL commented, "You love your job, don't you, Ali?", I rolled my eyes and shuddered.

As if conjured by a charm, images of this past year's Period 4 English experience flooded my mind. While I LOVED the kids in that class as individuals, together as a group they drove me to the brink of madness and I can say that publicly and candidly because they know it.

They also know that I loved them and that to this day, I will go out of my way to help any of them but I'll never sugarcoat how difficult it was to teach them.

Fortunately, they had me as their teacher and I'm not saying that to sound conceited or to imply that I'm the world's greatest teacher because I'll be the first to admit that I'm not; I have A LOT of faults as an educator however luckily, the way I feel about and understand teenagers isn't one of them.

Did my Period 4 English class purposefully try to drive me insane? No. Was the atmosphere of that class the fault of an individual(s)? No. Would the experience of that same group of students have been the same if it had a different teacher? NO.

Then why was teaching that group of kids difficult?

I don't know - it just was and that's the point of this post.

Teaching is not easy - AT ALL. But learning isn't easy, either. And unfortunately, there isn't much that can be done to make either of them fool proof and, in my opinion, that's ok as long as both parties try its hardest to put forth a positive attitude and a true effort and, most importantly, as long as both parties care about one another as individuals. Mutual respect goes A LONG WAY in the classroom and in the long run, will teach a student more than a text book ever could.