Last night I gathered a pic-a-mix crew together for a cultural night out in New Brunswick. Instead of just the usual NB players (me and Matty, Tif and Erik), I decided to piece together a varied tribe in an attempt to spend time with as many of my favorite peeps as possible.
The Cleo Mack Dance Project's performance at the Crossroads Theater was the perfect incentive to make the trip from Hoboken to Exit 9: Tif and Erik had already planned on attending before I spoke with them and I figured I could use the Arts to draw everyone else out of their lairs. (Unfortunately, the Kenny-Steins got stuck in conversation while dining in EB and were unable to join up with the rest of us - we missed them!)
Bringing together people who don't all know one another is a hit or miss operation; fortunately, the groups that I've brought together have all met with relative success (oh, how I miss the days in the cottage on Skye), which is a rare. I say this because it seems that the majority of times I've been the odd gal out at a gathering, I've always felt that way: odd, and out.
When the six of us sat down last night for a pre-theater cocktail (and one Diet Coke), here's who was sitting around the table:
Your favorite blogger
A Mormon mother of two young boys/photographer/world traveler
A former professional ballet dancer cum organic supplement wholesale distributor
A 25 year old Romanian optometrist
A self declared anti-socialite mom of three who reads Ulysses for fun
A guy who easily manages to practice polymathy, diplomacy, and chivalry before most of us can remember to brush our teeth in the morning
As the six of us sat there, I worried most about the Romanian because she was the biggest contrast to the rest of us, what with her gorgeous youth and vitality exuding from every one of her small, tight pores. But before I could give it a second thought, we were all laughing and joking as if part of some motley commune. In just moments, every one was striking up conversations with someone new, no one was monopolizing the conversation or holding court in an attempt to unify the group.
That easy dynamic ushered us through the rest of the night, taking us from Christopher's Bar at the Heldrich across the street to the performance and down a block or to Hotoke afterward, where we sat at a family style table, ordering up treats and eating from one another's plates.
So what's the secret? Why haven't I been so lucky in the past when I've been one of the strangers in someone else's group? Is it a matter of luck? Chemistry?
Honestly? I don't think it's either of those two factors; I think it's something much simpler: the friends I've chosen to spend time with in my personal life are quality people. They don't suck. They're not assholes. They're not mean nor are they social climbers.
The people I am closest to and choose to bring together in situations such as last night are unpretentious and genuine. They are funny, authentic and well, they're just plain nice. It's as simple as that.
I haven't thought much about New Year's Resolutions in the past few weeks but perhaps mine is this: continue spending time with those I love. Continue bringing together those I love so they can enjoy one another as much as I enjoy them. Get rid of dead weight in my life. Get rid of anyone and everyone who brings me down.
Fill my hope chest with hope, not with despair.
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