The Future

I recently listened to a podcast that made an attempt to determine whether or not intelligence plays a role in happiness; are smart people less happy than not so smart people?

The podcast determined, through the study of scientific data, that there is no correlation between happiness and intelligence. There are many smart, happy people and there are many smart miserable people and the same goes for not so smart people - some are happy, some are not.

Frankly, I do think there is a certain beauty in simplicity - not stupidity, but simplicity. I am not a simple person: I think too much, worry too much, change my mind too often, stress out over decision making all too easily, etc.

There is just so much going on in this world and inside of my head that I always feel that I'm running out of time. Like this morning, for instance - it's already 8:26 am and although I've been up since 7:15, I still haven't walked for fitness, cleaned up the flat, gone to the store for coffee, or taken care of more last minute wedding details; therefore, I am miserable because I already feel like I've wasted the entire day.

I worry about the future constantly because in some ways, I am not happy with the present. Yes, I am immensely happy in my relationships and thrilled to be getting married in two weeks and I realize that for some girls, that would be enough happiness to hold them over for years. A lifetime, even.

But it's not enough for me.

Life is too short to be happy with only one aspect of life, which is why I'm always trying to make the other parts of my life better; I am not satisfied with mediocre. Unless you're talking about soup, this girl ain't having it lukewarm.

Over the course of the past few months, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to live this next stage of my life. Marriage is the best thing that could have happened to me because not only do I get to spend my life with my BFF, I am now tied to a solid anchor that, ironically, affords me a ridiculous amount of flexibility and the freedom to be me, 100%.

This summer, I've made some decisions that surprise even me: in the next two years, I'm going to get my MA in Creative Writing and Literature, I'm going to have a baby, I'm going to stop teaching for a few years to stay at home with my baby, I'm going to publish my novel, and most importantly, I'm going to be happy with 90% of my life (I'm happy with 60% currently).

But I suppose I should concentrate on getting married, to start.

So, what's LaPointeofItAll? Well, this is my life and I am the only one who can make it into the life that I want and dammit, that's exactly what I'm going to do.