This One's For Ashley

I'm so excited and disturbed at the same time: when I put the words "hinged ramp" into the search box of Flickr, this pic popped right up and it's just what I was looking for; it's the perfect pic for today's post topic on the status of Angelica P's custom built ramp!

(Here's where I feel I should make an assertion, kinda along the lines of "brought to you by Jello Pudding Snacks" except this one is "today's post is brought to you at the request of the lovely Ashley, a die hard fan of Miss Angelica Pinkerton, Kitten Extraordinaire ".)

So yeah - when Matt and I first started talking about ramping up our feline friend's mobility and access, I thought the ramp would be a single 11 foot 2x4 that we could prop in the corner when not in use (we have ridiculously high ceilings and when I say ridiculously high, I mean I think they are, like, 25 feet high, but in actuality it's probably more like 14).

Simple enough, right? Go to store. Buy piece of wood. Nail 3 inch pieces of wood to big piece of wood to act as footholds. Lean piece of wood up against door. Viola - equal opportunity access.

Well, I forgot that Matt's mind doesn't work that way. Instead, his mind went to some foreign place I've never visited full of ideas and concepts I've never encountered, (I envision this place similar to the 24 hour study section of my college library; who were those people in there on a Saturday night at 1 am, anyway?). When his mind returned, my husband started talking about a hinge.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not a dummy but a hinge? Is that necessary? I didn't think so but according to Matt, it is essential to the construction because "a hinge would allow us to fold the ramp in half so it would take up less corner space".

Um yea, because we currently use so much of that corner space?

At the time I just smiled and shook my head, pretending to think it was a fab idea when actually, my mind was reeling. Seriously, A HINGE? I mean, I'm not an engineer but wouldn't a hinge require some kind of support mechanism to keep the ramp from snapping shut and - GASP - pinching little Pinkerpins in place! Good lord, if that happened, I would come unhinged!! Seriously -if that happened, you would have to come visit me at the bench on the lawn of the funny farm where I would be spending the rest of my years in a catatonic state (make sure to bring me a fresh pair of soft, white slippers and some Aqua Life gummies - I'll probably be faking the catatonic state and will need some creature comforts).

What's wrong with a simple board? In trying to engineer the perfect ramp could Matty possibly be setting us up for an ultimate disaster? I think this is a conversation I need to have with my husband tonight; each time I glance up at this picture, a bolt of pain surges through my soul and I can hear Pinks cry.

So, What's La Pointe of It All? For me it's this: just keep it simple. Don't try and get fancy; kittens don't need hinges to know you love them.

Anything for Angelica

Miss Angelica Pinkerton, I presume?

Angelica Pinkerton, feline first class explorer, is obsessed with climbing the screen door to hang out on the ledge above. I find this antic wildly amusing; Matt finds it dangerously destructive. Why? Well, since Pinks is a creature of habit, she climbs the same section of screen each time and since most of my nail trimming attempts have failed, she's clawed a rather large section of the screen so often that it is now threadbare and Matty is afraid she's going to put her leg through it and hang herself.

Where in the room is little A. Pinkerton?

This thought scares me to death so I proposed the following ideas to Matt:

• I can quit my job and stay home with Angelica P. full time, like a good mother, to make sure she does not injure herself.
• Take a look at the above pic. See the wall space between the door and the window? We can build a series of shelves to act as stepping stones. Then, I'll teach her to use the shelves as a ladder to her destination.
• We can replace the screen and continue to do so each time a hole begins to form that we deem dangerous to her safety.
• We can buy her a little mini kitty jet pack that I'll strap on to her each morning before work.

Needless to say, Matt vetoed #1 immediately (which shows that he cares more about money than Pinkerpins safety and my emotional stability). He agreed to replace the screen but he made it clear that he'll only do it once. Then he mentioned something about plexiglass and I stopped listening. #4 made him look at me and roll his eyes. Then, I think he stopped listening.

So, #2 became our option of choice, until we looked at the logistics and determined that she might not be able to jump around a corner from the top shelf to the ledge. That's when Matt came up with the idea of building a ramp - 4 inches wide and, um, 11 feet long - that we can prop up against the door to give her safe, easy access to her favorite sunny space. He's at Home Depot buying the wood this minute, as I sit here typing. Anything for Angelica Pinkerton, the world's most coddled cat.

So, What's La Pointe of It All? Well, it's this - if we're willing to go to this extreme for our kitten extraordinaire, can you imagine what we'll do for the future Littlest La Pointe? And considering we only plan to have one child (Matty is an only child and he is, in my opinion, a perfect human being, whereas I have a sibling and I'm a complete mess), will our efforts to keep that child happy and healthy be exponentially more extreme?

I can't wait to find out. Unless, of course, the kid is ugly. In that case, I already have people lined up to take it.