My Inner Skinnygirl

bethenny.jpg, a photo by caitlinoco on Flickr.

Ok - Eliza is 13 weeks old and I feel that it's about time that I make an active effort to lose the rest of the weight I gained eating Ben and Jerry's during my miserable pregnancy.

As you know from my post-delivery blogs, I swelled to the size of a small whale after she was ripped from my womb. Most women leave the hospital having lost AT LEAST the weight of their child. Not me; I left the hospital having gained the weight of a very large child: I entered at 161 and left at 172.

I am not bullshitting you: I gained 11 pounds of water and bloat after giving birth to 14 pounds of child and placenta. I lost 36 pounds in the first few weeks I was home without any effort (oh shut up - considering I should've left the hospital at around 146 pounds, the majority of those 36 pounds was water) but I have only lost 1.5 pounds since.

Yep, 1.5 pounds. That's it. I weighed 136 on January 13th and I weigh 134.5 now, which is really depressing since I've been starving myself 6 days a week, doing 100 push ups every other day, and walking miles a day pushing a pram.

But one day a week at the new moms lunch, I've been stuffing my face, in addition to drinking A LOT of wine... during the day and at night.* And I haven't been doing the Body By Bethenny workout that I bought to stream on Amazon. As a matter of fact, I'm just now watching it for the first time while writing this.

And I'm kinda inspired. Kinda.

It's hard to find time to work out and frankly, (or should I say Frankely.. lol) I think that for the most part, unless you're interested in increasing your cardio lung capacity, working out for weight loss is a myth, which is why I'm even more reluctant to start doing it.

But it's time. I need to tone and I need to lose 10 pounds if I ever want to fit back into any of my old clothes. And yes, I know that I look "fine" right now. That I even look "great" when I make an effort. But that is not good enough for me because I am 5'2 and ten extra pounds on my frame means that I'm up two dress sizes and that is not acceptable.

Stop - I don't want to hear it, so don't even bother commenting: I don't care how you think I look or what you think I should weigh or blah, blah, blah. I know what I want to look like and what I want to weigh and most importantly, that I don't want to buy an entire four season wardrobe. I realize that the body changes in permanent ways after having a baby and that some things may never fit again but my coats should. My shirts should. And most of my pants, jeans and dresses should if I tone up and lose these last ten pounds.

So that's what I plan to do and I'm going to start making a sincere effort tomorrow because it's too late to start today: The Cheeks is about to wake up from her afternoon nap and this is the last free moment I'm going to have until 7:30 tonight and at that point, Matty will be home and it will be the two of us stuck in one room for the rest of the night and I'm not about to torture him by making him sit and watch me embrace my inner Skinnygirl. Which is another lovely reality of having a baby in a one bedroom.

So tomorrow it is.

*No, I'm not a lush... not yet. When I say a lot of wine, I mean a few glasses every other day.